In the change-the-world-generation, we learned to be afraid of normal. At least I think I did.
Was it that the American norms of speaking out, spreading ideas… freedom of speech… set our expectations too high?
Was it that materialistic baby boomers in the church emphasized the message of pursuing higher callings to their children because they secretly felt guilty for how far their generation had swung into materialism? ( I got that idea from Frank Viola in Pagan Christianity.)
Closing out the decade of my 30s has me stirred up with everything that’s going right and wrong in my life. Has me thinking about life lessons learned in my 20s & 30s. And it has brought into view a few goals before my 30s are gone. (Yeah, I know I said I would devote my blog to catching up on some of the back stories, but I also need to press on to some new goals at the same time.)
See, I’m too busy tackling ever-evolving projects to understand the fear of failure but I am realizing I may suffer from a fear of normal.
Just like the world of computers can be reduced to 0s and 1s, and genes are turned off and on,if life can be reduced the light of knowing and believing the truth, or the darkness of ignorance fear, and believing lies, then this fear of normal was eventually going to show itself, right?
Is this the thing that breeds comparison and jealousy even among the best of friends? Is this the thing that breeds fear at our spouses’ everyday attributes? Is this the thing that has us ever-asking which activities we should and shouldn’t invest in for ourselves and or kids…. while years pass beneath our feet?
What if normal just means whole? Balanced?
What if normal means everything in its place?
What if normal is best?
This weekend my husband and I were able to share a rare treat. We are both musicians, so you would think we love seeing live music together. Not really. Rarely is it the same person that we want to see, and as a family, the logistics are bad for individual entertainment.
But we happen to both love the music of blues rocker Doyle Bramhall. And going together to see him live without our children was NOT normal. Go us!
Yet my heart was a little troubled as the weekend went on. [Insert the inner-dialogue of an person who is watching someone who is living the life I once thought I wanted.] Years of travelling the world with beautiful people has cost him his marriage and a life with his two daughters. My normal life in comparison was becoming a beautiful treasure.
Yet, I have trouble seeing it. I thought I was too old to be misjudging these kinds of things?
It’s time for me to look around and see the beauty in the normal things, to value my true treasures.
I can’t manage all of the desires big and small, some of which are probably just a piecemeal covering over my fear of being normal.
And, really, it’s not that revolutionary. It’s never a bad time for recalibrating and re-directing. And relaxing into Phillippians 4:8.
“[W]hatever is [already] true, whatever is [already] honorable, whatever is [already] just, whatever is [already] pure, whatever is [already] lovely, whatever is [already] commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything [already] worthy of praise, think about these things.
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