He was dying of brain cancer at 34. He was Zach’s best friend and an influential person in my life as well.
Now, my mom had also died of brain cancer, so frankly, this wasn’t rocking my world. Until my simple prayers were tuning into military operations. The Lord began to urge me through the holy spirit with prayers of healing. Um, I don’t do this, Lord. My people don’t pray like this! My own mom died of brain cancer, and I never prayed for her. I simply felt it was up to God. What is happening?! You must be desperate for a prayer warrior if you are nudging ME to pray like this. I don’t do this!
The Lord gave me the same vision each time of going into battle, dragging Rocky back into safety. The words out of my mouth…. I would sometimes look at Zach and say, “Just let me go. I’m not crazy, I promise!” And twice, during the time I was praying, we got word that he had gone into a coma and they had brought him back.
I knew that the Lord wanted him healed, and I knew it was a battle. And I knew prayer had something to do with it, but my theology (my understanding of scriptures) had NO place for these things.
I didn’t take ownership of the battle. I didn’t feel the weight of the outcome. I was learning as I went.
When Rocky passed away, it stands to reason that there would be confusion left behind. Why would You prompt me to pray, Lord, if You knew He was going to die. Why? Those prayers were not my idea!
It was the first time that Zach and I ever turned off the TV, tuned out the world and craved comfort and intimacy with God in what we didn’t understand. Before that, we never thought we’d opt for listening to audio sermons over music or the tv.
“Let’s listen to that old gospel preacher I used to listen to on the radio. I think he was in Dallas,” Zach said. We found him online and discovered he taught on healing. That’s easy. Let’s listen to that. Within one hour of teaching, we were beginning to understand. After the second hour, I was in my bathroom looking for something broken that I could pray for on my body. Healed. It was just a matter of time before those prayers were happening with Zach in the living room. Healed. Then with our children. Healed. Then for our friends. Healed. And eventually strangers. Healed.
You know, I would send audio files to friends and discover they wouldn’t take the time to listen to them, but they would ask me questions and let me relay it in my words all day long. It seems everyone has a teacher for them, moving them from their point A to point B. Recently, when I began taking time for my work again after spending 18 months home bound with a newborn, I started working on a book called “Five kinds of healing,” which is maybe the dumbest working title ever, but it’s my turn to pass it on to the people whom I can be their point A to point B person.
You know, if a stranger had knocked on my door and said, “Can I have 20 minutes to tell you what I know about healing. Here, we can stay on the porch.” I would have listened. When my mother was dying, I would have listened. I have now been that one to initiate that conversation with many people. And I have never left the conversation without a miracle. What God achieved on the cross of Calvary is amazing.
Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
You know, we just wanted some comfort. Some clarity. And we wanted Rocky back. But instead, we began to discover that the Lord had all of that already in His Word. Clear as a bell. The scriptures I already knew. I just didn’t know….. “it’s real.”
Pray With Me Out Loud:
Lord, if You are my more-than-enough God, then that means you have the resources for my body to heal. I don’t just need energy for the day, but I need energy for my cells to be renewed to their original design. If I brought this on myself, then I praise you for your forgiveness. And you know I don’t change overnight, so I thank you for your unending forgiveness. Just like my boss has the authority to come in and tell every employee to turn their desks upside down and rearrange the contents therein, you have the authority to tell my cells to move around. Yes, the law of sin and death seems to be at work in my body: the laws of [dermatology] explain these [marks on my face.] Yes, “The law came through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. ” Your grace came in though Christ and said, I’m here to give everything needed regardless of what is deserved. “Cells, let’s return.” You, Lord, have come and declared freedom to the captive. I am not captive to the laws of [dermatology]. So, in the name of Jesus, cells I have good news fo you! The grace of God has come to this body to fix you and move you back into the right position. Yeah, I know I don’t deserve that, and that’s the grace of God.” I thank you God that you have provided my healing like you provided my forgiveness as a finished work for me to receive by faith–by believing it was offered to me. Just as I am. Today. THANK YOU, LORD! SO BET IT!
Lyrics to More:
You gave me more
When I wanted healing
You gave me all your love
You gave me more
When I wanted support
You gave me all your love
No one knows how far it goes
How far, how deep
Is your love for me!
Click here for Charts for this song and the songs of Wild Hymn II, All Days Sacred
In My Songbook:
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