This was originally published as “Young teaching Young: the Antithesis of Titus 2:3″… words that screamed, “Give me a new title!”
It’s taken me a long time to figure this out. What was it about the blogger mom generation that was irking me!? Yes, I would state Add Mediathe obvious–we know their house is not that perfect every day—we all love to take pictures and glorify our perfect momen—AH, there it went! But I realized recently that it goes deeper than that.
I began to be amazed that many many of my google searches began to take me to the links of HOW-TO tutorials and good cooking or decor ideas coming from ….women my age with kids my age. Now, I am the first to tell you, these things are not my gift, so I was a grateful, humble recipient of all their treasures. What bothered me was still something else.
It seemed to me that there was an ARMY of frantic moms chasing, chasing the next big tip, secret, idea, DIY project that would move us one more hurdle toward our goal of ‘somewhat finished’ with ‘this stage’ (at least) of life. How to organize bedroom toys for toddlers–(advice which I took.) How to turn a living room corner into a mini-office (advice which I took) and the remaining nook into a hidden toy stash. How to put together your own planner, how to …on and on.
The essence is “Look what I did,” screaming, “Do it like me.” And there’s not really anything wrong with that, nothing wrong with LEARNING from one another and with SHOWING and TELLING! So what was it?
What are these homes really like? Tell me how that child organization plan worked. Let me check in with you NEXT YEAR, and you can tell me how that homeschool planner WORKED. Yeah it looks good, but did you have to put on a movie marathon to get that?
As I’ve been going through a season of ‘getting a grip on my household’–making me a prime candidate for the mommy blogs–I have find myself back again and again at the basics of my house. Someday I will visit my grandchildren. And I will be a guest in my children’s homes. How will they treat me? How will they treat their children? What am I passing on to them? The great things that I want to pass on…..are they translating? Is it happening? I don’t care if it’s ugly, messy, hectic. Is it translating? (A work of art in progress can look like a trainwreck in an artist’s workshop.) Am I valuing form over content? Appearance over reality? Plastic over ….alive? Am I pleasing my peers over my children?
I have drawn out this problem…. here’s my endpoint. What is bothering me is the antithesis of Titus 2:3. When the young teach the young it becomes a breeding ground for comparison and competition…. pointless comparison and competition. Distraction.*
Where are the older women who can TELL you how that planner worked that year and how MANY kid room organization plans they went through before they found what worked.
Rhonda Robinson has begun a work on her blog to do this. She raised nine children, and the last one is almost “grown” and out of the house and she is turning now to pass on her years of experience in the home.
Needless to say, when I realized what I am writing about here, I called her. I wanted her to know that what she is doing may SEEM like ‘just another blog about the home’…but it is not. So few women in her generation are hitting the blog scene…because many don’t know it exists! (I think of my own step-mother who, like many of her peers, has no interest in the computer. And why would they? I get it.) But blog scene or not–regardless of where the young women are that are within their reach, this is the void. The target is off-center–and the mommy bloggers just weren’t hitting for me.
I need an older teaching this younger.
And I don’t think it’s about having a mother who is alive and well; I think it’s about the gems of ANY woman who would take up this high calling, and get their paragraph ready on the tip of their tongue, and be ready to share it to… (and let me be honest here) a tired, confused generation of women who grew up not knowing anything different than the two income household, the american career woman, scene…… for whom having children brought a crashing reality of..’what were we thinking? Now, how are we supposed to raise them?’
Despite the disconnect of the older generation having had their own unique set of challenges which have morphed into another generation’s… there is a void to be filled.
I told Rhonda to to hear her talk….even one off-hand remark is of more value to me than the finest suggestion of the day or the blog pick of the month. Because her words have a perspective, a distance, and an assurance that I desperately NEED.
If nothing else, I’d urge moms to talk to their own daughters–to help un-kink the stopped pipes in their households which threaten to blow the place down… metaphorically of course… I think.
Now, I must search for a few older women to send this blog to. To encourage them. Since, obviously, they aren’t reading my blog 😉 And they shouldn’t be! I should be reading theirs!
* Disclaimer: please hear my point and take no offense, fellow mommy blogger! I AM ONE OF YOU!!!!! I truly believe that encouragment of ANY KIND is age-less and valuable.
This is my plea: Matriarchs, rise up and take your place! 🙂
[yks-mailchimp-list id=”a0b7553c8f” submit_text=”Keep in touch with me…”]